A new decade on the horizon

Early in the morning on the day after Christmas, I sat out on the back deck of the cabin, our “home for the holidays” in the mountains of Gatlinburg. It was so cold I could see my breath in front of me, mingling with the steam rising up from the full mug of coffee that I held in my gloved hands.
I was curled up in a wooden rocking chair beneath a cozy, wool blanket, still in my pajamas with the addition of a sweatshirt, thick socks and fleece hat pulled down low to cover my ears.
I had woken to a view from my third story window of what looked to be the beginnings of a magnificent sunrise coming up over the rolling mountains in the distance. The view and serenity it created beckoned me outside despite the frosty temperature.
While the rest of my family lay sleeping soundly, snug in their beds, I sat cocooned in the warmth of color bursting into the morning sky and cascading back down over the miniscule chalets that were nestled into the side of the mountain with circles of smoke rising up from their chimneys.
I wondered if there was anyone else in the world at that moment enjoying the spectacular display of glowing orange, cool purples and fiery reds God was painting in the sky before my very eyes.
It was a momentary flash of beauty, fading away almost as quickly as it had come as the sun moved higher and the sky developed into a clear blue.
As the scene before me transpired, I couldn’t help but think of the symbolism it held to the passing decade that looms on the horizon.
It seems like it was just yesterday when the world was facing the Y2K scare as a new century was set to unfold. Fears of the future caused anxiety among our nation, not knowing that panic would ultimately be unfounded.
There would be more disturbing distresses occurring in the first decade of the twenty-first century.
Who would have ever imagined that September 11th was just around the corner? The attack on the World Trade Centers in New York would not only rock our world, it changed the way we all live and think and act. The incident, as tragic as it was, reminded us that life is precious and each day is a special gift. Normal and usual kind of folks became heroes for their acts of bravery and fortitude, and our eyes became opened to the way our world is changing.
Mother Nature took center stage this past decade for some devastating acts including a tsunami that killed nearly 300,000 people throughout Indonesia and the Pacific Rim.
Locally, Katrina surpassed the memories of Camille as a new generation was exposed to the impact of hurricanes and the ravages she left behind in our city and state. As a community, we learned that what did not break us would make us stronger as we sought to find positives in the aftermath. We discovered unity and cooperation among neighbors, and we were the recipients of love and good will from people all over the globe. Though we were humbled, we discovered our resiliency and became fervent for a better future.
The past ten years could also be described by the extreme advances in technology. We have become a people both isolated and connected by our computers, cell phones, cameras and televisions. We are isolated physically, yet connected with electronic tools in such a way that is changing the principles of privacy and moral behavior. We’ve lost the importance of face to face contact and our ability to communicate has been reduced to a series of abbreviations and shortened words that take less time to spell while we text and instant message about the personal details of our lives. Facebook and Google have become not only wildly successful internet businesses, they have become part of our everyday English language. Have you Googled yourself lately? You should!
Overall, in the last decade our lives have changed drastically, some for the better, some for the not-so-much-better. But the point is, we are continuing to evolve.
People change, nations change, our environment will change and the one constant in all of it is time. Time just keeps on rolling along.
Just like that beautiful sunrise that inspired me and brought me great satisfaction and peace, if I would’ve blinked almost, I could’ve missed it.
As I lay in my bed and first opened my eyes to the pre-show of God’s glory, I could have just rolled over and gone back to sleep. But I would’ve missed it.
I could have watched the sunrise from the comfort of inside, but it was the struggle and effort to get wrapped up, protected from the elements and situated outside that truly made it the experience that it was.
As we approach a new decade, I encourage you, don’t miss out on a single second. Go through the struggles and efforts to pursue your dreams. Be a part of God’s glory and blessings. Make the most of the fading and fleeting beauty of life. We never know what’s just around the corner, and before we know it, another decade will be here and gone.
It is my wish, that your new year and each and every day is filled with beauty, adventure, peace and promise. God bless you and happy new year!

Gobble, gobble, gobble

As I'm sitting here, grossly full from a huge Thanksgiving dinner reading all the comments by my Facebook friends talking about how they've over-eaten today as well, I can't help but wonder... what is the purpose of the overly excessive meal that has become a tradition for American families on this one day?
Yes I know the holiday is in remembrance of the first meal by the Pilgrims in their new land shared with the Indians, but what we do on this holiday is nothing like what they did on that day.
They may have sat at a dinner table with their friends and family, but they didn't have turkey, they didn't gorge themselves on sugar-filled and sugar-topped pies and sweets and they surely would not have had so much food that they were able to eat left-overs continually for the next week.
We had so much food tonight at my family's Thanksgiving meal that I could not even fit a spoonful of everything on my plate in one go around.
I always find it funny that after having filled our bellies with so much food that we're almost unable to move, we always instigate some type of entertainment provided by the children. We sit on the soft sofas, barely awake from too much turkey while the girls sing and dance and cheer, hoping that some of their activity might rub off on our depleted metabolisms.
I always regretfully end up sinking into my chair with the regretful thought, "Why did I just do that to myself?"
Why do we do that? If we really want to celebrate the intentions of our fore-fathers it seems it may be more appropriate for us to go plow a field or build a barn.
I'm just so thankful that at least one real tradition has survived from our ancestors. Check any history book and you'll find that after the Pilgrims and Indians shared a meal, the men cleared the table and washed the dishes while the women went to Walmart to go Christmas shopping!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Phone call to God

Day one on Saturday, coming home to an empty house was kinda nice. My children and CJ are out of town, so it was refreshing on Saturday to be able to sleep and try to recuperate from my jet lag.
Sunday morning rolled around a little bittersweet. In my still sorta asleep and not quite yet woken up phase, I kept waiting for my girls to come bouncing into my bed begging for breakfast before getting ready and going to church together. The patter of their feet never came.
I kept myself busy on Sunday afternoon catching up on email and other tedious chores that required my attention and kept me from drifting into an emotional state.
Now it's Monday and I'm starting to wonder if Thursday will ever get here?
I had to literally force myself not to cry when my girls called today from Knoxville where they're staying with CJ's mom.
"I miss you Mommy!" Miá said sweetly.
Ugh...
That lump in my throat was a good thing that kept me from being able to wail.
Then I started to wonder if that's how God feels when His children go away from Him. Do you think God gets emotional over those whom He loves so much, yet they never call him or talk to him in prayer? I bet He misses us when we wander far away from Him, and He desperately wants us to stay close to Him.
I know it says in the Bible that Jesus wept. He knows the pain of sadness and lonliness and heart break. He knows how parents feel when their children are a long distance away. After all, He is the father of all fathers.
Have you called your Father lately? I bet He'd love to hear your voice.

Small town surprises

There really are some benefits to living in a small town... it's more than just the family atmosphere and the traditional values. There are short lines at the stop sign; the lady at the coffee shop knows just how I like my morning coffee, and I'm on a first name basis with the Sheriff, the Chief of Police and the Mayor.
Of course I've heard there are a few drawbacks, like everybody knows everybody's business, but I happen to like that aspect of living here. I've never been good at keeping secrets, and I think it holds you more accountable for your plans and actions.
But this morning I got to experience one of my most favorite parts of living in a small town.

About a month ago, I was wasting time surfing the internet and I typed in the address of one of my most frequented websites - ebay - and proceeded straight to my preferred section, purses. My friends will all tell you that I'm a sucker for purses, watches and shoes. I can't help it - I'm fascinated with the accessories. Especially if it's a good bargain. I love trying to get fancy and 'expensive-looking' items for really low prices. I'm always amazed by what you can find at ebay!
Anyway, I found a couple of really great, cute purses that I instantly fell in love with, and guess the price? 99 cents each!
The disadvantage: they were from a dealer in China. I did "win" the items in the online auction for less than a dollar each, however, shipping from Asia was closer to $15 each. (Still a good bargain in my opinion though.)
But do you know how long it takes to get mail from China? I was prepared for the wait, after all, the purses were worth it. But everyday I would anxiously go home from work to see if my purses had arrived while I was gone.
Then today, Mailman Bob shows up at the Columbian-Progress with two packages in his hands. He said, "I knew you had been waiting on these so I thought I'd just drop them by your office."
How sweet is that?!?
Yes, it was my purses and I was so excited to finally receive them, but I was even more excited by the fact that my mailman had brought them to me!
Only in a small town will the mailman know where you live, where you work, when to deliver packages containing Christmas gifts and when not to (cause he knows you're trying to surprise your spouse.)
Only in a small town does the mailman know specifically about your spending habits on ebay.
And only in a small town does the mailman care enough to go out of his way to brighten your day through his small act of kindness.
Sure, he could've just left them at my house (it's where they were addressed to go) but he knew how eager I was to receive them, so he brought them to my work.
My mailman is the best, but so is living in a small town!

I am rich!

You know that place between sleeping and awake? You're somewhat cognizant of the world around you, yet the sweet dreams that lulled you through the night have not released their grasp of your brain functions. That's where I was yesterday morning, laying in my bed before the first beep of the alarm sounded when I sensed a small, warm body snuggle up behind me. I felt the bony arms wrap around me and I could smell the sweet, yet salty perspiration that children develop from a hard night's sleep.
I knew without opening my eyes that it was my Miá, my younger child who has not yet reached an age of self-awareness yet exudes self-confidence and displays affection openly without fear of approval or perception. My baby who, with innocence and naivete, calls things as she sees them and doesn't hesitate to say whatever is on her mind. My child who with adoration in her heart wants me to be the last person she sees before going to bed and the first person to greet her in the morning.
Miá crawled up behind me and got close enough to whisper in my ear with her small, melodious voice, "Mommy.... I love you."
I turned over in my bed to find her smiling face beaming at me. She giggled with delight and I couldn't help but laugh in return.
Worth more than any amount of money or reward, it's moments like these that I know I will cherish for a lifetime.

My vampire and me

It had been a long, tiresome and exciting day. My mother, Zoë, Miá and I had tromped all over New York City beginning at 7 a.m. that morning. It was now late afternoon and we were beat! All we wanted to do was find some food and find a subway station to take us back to our hotel.
We were leaving FAO Schwarz, crossing over Fifth Avenue and walking past the Plaza Hotel.
To escape the crowds and a busy thoroughfare, we decided to take a side street to reach our destination that traversed past a private entrace of The Plaza. (not the grand main entrance - this was less ostentacious and more concealed)
We were almost oblivious to the group of people lined up behind barriers on both sides of the street. There had been so many people everywhere else, for all we knew they were lined up for a show or a buffet or who-knows what, and we decided to just bypass the scene. When we circumvented the masses and got to the location that was next to the front of the crowd where the barriers held them back, I began to notice all the cameras and the excitement. Standing in front of the barrier, I spoke to a young woman on the other side of the metal bars and asked her, "What's going on?"
"I think they're filming a movie!" the cute brunette responded.
I replied, "Do you know who's in it?"
"Nope!" she said. "I'm just here cause my friends dragged me along."
Hmmm.... I thought to myself. "Let's just go," I said to my mom. I didn't see any movie cameras or trailers and it didn't look like a movie scene to me. No telling how long those people had been waiting there and no telling how much more time would drag on before they caught a glimpse of some unknown "movie star."
So we started walking.
Right as we got up to the side entrance of the infamous hotel, who crosses in front of me but Robert Pattinson.

"OMG, OMG, OMG! It's Robert Pattinson!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
He was gorgeous! Dressed in a black suit with a crisp white shirt unbuttoned part of the way and a black tie hung loosely around his neck, the sight of him took me by surprise.
It's relevant to provide some history. I have been a R.P. fan for quite sometime. It was several months back when CJ brought home the first Twilight movie and I disregarded the film saying, "I don't want to watch some vampire movie."
He cajoled me, "Everyone says it's really good. All the girls seem to like it."
So I watched it reluctantly but instantaneously fell in love with the beautiful and hypnotizing Edward Cullen - R.P.'s character in the movie. I think I watched that movie three times before it was due back to the rental store.
I then proceeded to read the Twilight books. I read all four books in the series in a week. I just couldn't get enough!
Since then I have found myself stopping at every magazine stand and gazing at every website that has a picture of R.P. featured. I just can't seem to help myself! (It's an innocent fascination really and my husband has no concerns.) :)
But as I came face to face with this man that has held an allure over me, I lost all sense of maturity and self-awareness.
I squeeled loudly with my words running together in an almost foreign language type of tone. Then... for a moment.... time stood still - Robert Pattinson turned and looked at me!
We were eye to eye for a flash of a second.
The look he gave me though was not a smiling face. It was a look of fear. I think the poor man thought I was going to attack him.
Then in an instant, he was gone... wisked into the restricted hotel like steam that evaporates into the air.
My shoulders slumped. I realized what an idiot I had made of myself and what an opportunity I had missed - my camera was in my hand the whole time and I had not snapped a single picture. What a great journalist I am, huh?
I was still in shock, standing frozen in the path of what had just occurred, til I felt a small hand tugging on my sleeve. It was Miá. "Mommy, who was that?" she said with her sweet innocence.
Zoë, the older sister, with indignation replied for me since my voice had seemed to cease. "Duh! It's Edward from Twilight!"
I smiled at the occurrence. The whole story seemed to transpire in slow motion, but in reality it was over in a flash.
At least I thought it was over til my mother, with similar stagger and surprise, began shrieking just as I had moments before, "OMG! OMG! OMG! It's Pierce Brosnan!!!"

Like a replay of the serendipitous encounter I had just experienced, my mom was brushed with the same destiny with a movie star of her attraction. P.B. had arrived just moments after R.P. because they were filming a movie inside in a restaurant in the Plaza Hotel.
It was quite the event.
In retrospect it almost seems like a dream.
But it really happened.
And I have the Newsweek article from the next day to prove it.... the headline: Robert Pattinson anxious to return to London after enduring fanatic New York females.
Well, at least I left an impression....

Falling off the wagon...

Well, it's been nearly two months since I've blogged. There's no excuse really. I could give some like "I've just not had enough time," but in the end, excuses are just a waste of time. So it's redundant, and I'm moving on.
June and July have been a whirlwind. Youth trips, mission trips, conventions, weddings in other states and trips to foreign countries have all been stuffed into a few weeks' time. Like kernels of popcorn that explode when enough heat is applied, there were times when I felt like the pressure of it all would make me pop. But in the end, it's what I signed up for and agreed to. I made the choices to be this busy and I must say that even though it was all a bit stressful, it was an adventure and a lot of fun.
One of the highlights has been taking my mom and children to New York. I had a short visit there once before, and I tested my own resourcefulness by going back as the leader and provider for my family this time. It gave me a great sense of accomplishment to know that I could go to another city and manage to get around, take care of the details and planning and really have an enjoyable experience all at the same time.
The good news is that things are starting to get back to order. My office staff is now back at 100% - at least for the day - you never know how long that will last. And my spouse and kids will be returning from the last of the summer trips at the end of this week. (I have enjoyed a few days of sobering sanity being home alone for a short time.)
Now that order and structure is returning, I will attempt to be more fervent in my blogging. Back to the grind...

Bounce...

A little more everyday, I'm learning that life is about reflexes. How you respond to the surprises in life, the unplanned moments and the interuptions. Just when you think you have things figured out, there's a bump in the road or a fork in the road or maybe even a dead end.
Well, you can't just sit down in the middle of the road and cry about it. You have to do something about it.
I know I'm a magnet for chaos. It's a world I've grown accustomed to. But there are a few daily routines that fill my day, like my morning coffee. I can't imagine a day without the habit. The first of the morning catch up with the office staff. I love coming into the office in the mornings to find everyone eating breakfast or maybe even just filling out paperwork at their desks, but while they do, they're talking about what happened over the weekend or the night before. I truly enjoy hearing about what is going on in their lives each day. But for daily routines, that's about it for me.
I do try to plan. For instance, I'm going to New York this summer for a few days. I've made hotel reservations. I even bought tickets to a Broadway musical in advance. But at some point I recognize the best prepartion I can do is to be prepared for the unknown.
I think that's the way life is and the only true way to be prepared for the twists, turns, ups and downs, is to know how to bounce back or get up. So can you truly be prepared for the unknown? The answer is yes, and faith is the key!

I am determined

Every morning, the first thing I do when I open my eyes is to roll over, grab my cell phone and check my email. This morning started out with an email from a good friend in Bangladesh. It was as if God were speaking to me already, preparing me for a morning of worship.
Like clockwork, the girls and CJ were running out the door to go to church and I was left with a few quiet moments to get ready myself while also cooking a dish to take for the lunch that would be served after the morning service.
I sat down with a cup of coffee to study my morning Bible devotion. More preparation for a coming worship service.
That worship service finally arrived and after a morning spent talking with God and His preparation of my heart for this service, I was excited to see and feel His presence there in our sanctuary.
I often wonder if others see God in our services as visibly as I do. But His presence this morning was undeniable. There was singing, fellowship and a time of honoring some men of our church for their years of dedication, then it was time for the choir to lead in a well-known version of "I Am Determined."
From the moment the music began, I could feel God swell in our sanctuary as if He filled the whole room to the four corners, then He breathed His breath into the soloist who brought forth the audible voice of God. My breathing became heavy and my soul was humbled from awesome display that was transpiring. Then the choir joined in singing "I am determined to be invincible til He has finished His purpose in me." And it dawned on me that all of this was for me. God was speaking to me. From the moment my eyes opened til this dramatic and emotional stirring in our worship service, God was telling me that He is with me always; He has a purpose for me still and He wants me to be unshakeable in following His will.
Wow! I could barely sing the song. The words were on my lips, but no voice was coming out. The song ended with a huge climax providing just a glimpse into what I think Heaven will look like and as the Minister of Music waved His arms to end the song, the lights went out in the building.
Woh...
As if I wasn't aware that Christ was there already, it was like He put His stamp on the final note. It still gives me chills just thinking about it.
All I could do was smile, to know that God cares so much to do all this for me. I wonder what He was doing for others this morning as well.

Love is a beautiful thing (at the right age)

So, my 5 year old daughter, Miá, came home the other night and said, "Mama, guess what?" You can guess my response, "What?"
I was standing in the kitchen making dinner. It had been a good day and I was in a very good mood. I prepared myself to hear about Miá's school day, maybe a paper she colored or an adventure on the playground.
She said John (her 6 year old boyfriend) "told me today that he loves me!"
Screech. Stop. WHAT? - That's what happened on my insides. - On the outside with a cool and calm demeanor I asked her, "and what did you say?" (while trying to keep from coming unglued)
She said, "I told him I loved him too."
Ugh... You have got to be kidding me!
Have you ever felt your stomach literally drop? Your head starts to spin and you feel like you will faint?
I had to sit down.
I mean, 5 years old is way too soon to start developing feelings of this magnitude. Love is something for her parents or her sister or other relatives. Love can maybe even be for her favorite friends in CJ's office that she gives hugs to every morning on her way in to school. But definitely not for a BOY!
My mind was flashing with so many things that I wanted to say. I kept thinking that I should yank her out of preschool and send her to a nunnery. (Ok, not really.) But I did think of some extreme things that I could say or do to put a stop to this boyfriend situation immediately.
See up til now, I knew when she said that John was her boyfriend that it meant a friend who happened to be a boy. But saying I love you put the relationship into a whole different perspective.
The only words that I could utter out of my mouth was, "aaannnnddddd.... then what happened?"
She said, "then we all said I love you to each other! It was fun!"
"Huh?" (my bewildered response.)
She said, "Yeah, then I told Presley that I loved her, I told Maia that I loved her, I told Hays that I loved him..." and she kept on going.
And then she said the best part, "and they all said they love me too! I guess I just can't help being so lovable!"
As she skipped away down the hall, I could hear her singing "I love everybody and everybody loves me..."
Whew. What a relief! Crisis averted. For now.

What have you done for me lately?

Most days, I travel along the road of life feeling pretty good. Day in, day out, doing what I've got to do and usually when I put my head on the pillow at night, I feel like I've accomplished something. Then there are those moments when you hit a wall and the wind is knocked out of your sails.
I had one of those moments yesterday.
I think as Christians, we live our lives aware of how unworthy we are of God's love, grace and His ultimate sacrifice. It's easy to rest on the verse of scripture found in Ephesians 2:8-9 which says it is by grace we are saved through faith. It also says that we are not saved by our good works so that man may not boast. How easy it is to use that passage as an excuse to just get by.
We know we are saved regardless of how few good works we actually do and are continually unworthy of His salvation which he freely gives, so there's no real pressure to step outside of our comfort zone.
But verse 10 of that chapter says that we are created to do good works in Him and for Him.
It was in reading that verse yesterday that I felt challenged. What good works have I really done lately? Have I really gotten so busy and caught up doing my regular job that I've forgotten to do my REAL life's purpose job? Has it really been a couple days or weeks or maybe even months since I witnessed to someone about my faith, shared the gospel or led someone to Christ?
When I read that passage yesterday, I felt ashamed. I felt my unworthiness in a soul-saddening sort of way. I wonder how many times I've disappointed my Father by wasting the precious time He's given me each day by merely living life.
I believe that God wants us to live with passion and purpose. He wants us not to just live life, but to live it to the fullest for Him each and every day.
My mama always says that Lord has a way of keeping us humble. And I guess everynow and then we need those reminders that just kick us back into gear.

Beginnings and endings

My best friend Erin just brought the most beautiful baby boy into the world. His name is Brennan Joshua and he is absolutely perfect! Of course I've only seen pictures, but I have spent so much time in prayer over this little angel that I feel attached to him already.
Seeing the pictures of Erin and her new baby instantly took me back to the day when each of my little girls were born. Both births were so completely different, just like the different children they've turned out to be.
When you have a baby, everything is about beginnings. The first bath, the first bottle, the first poo.... I guess even as the babies grow into toddlers and children, we still have those beginnings - the first day of school, their first lost tooth, and so forth and so on. You don't really expect to have endings when your kids are young, so when they do, it's a bittersweet moment for the parents.
My girls had an ending this weekend. It was the end of competitive all-star cheerleading. And even though it was expensive and time-consuming, it was a little sad to know it's all over. Zoë and Miá loved being on their squads and all the things involved with being a part of their team. I had the opportunity to see both of my girls shine on a big stage. I got to see them overcome fears and anxiety. They worked hard (very hard) and exhibited self-discipline and poise under pressure. There's something special about seeing your kids strive towards a goal, work towards that goal and then excel, that's extremely gratifying for parents.
So why are they giving it up?
Because it's expensive and time-consuming! Well, not just that, but also because they've outgrown it - already! There are new expensive and time-consuming activities on the horizon and so a choice had to be made. In the end, Zoë made the choice to go to the next level. She will take the lessons and behaviors she's learned and apply it to a new school cheerleading squad. She'll also be able to play basketball (which she loves) and maybe even piano lessons - if I can find a place for her to practice.
As for Miá, well, the second child always loses out. Since big sister's not doing it anymore, neither will she... but I'm sure we'll find something for her to do. She is only 5 after all!
Oh and they're still going to do gymnastics. So it's not a complete drop.
One funny moment occurred this weekend. They had their last competition in Panama City at the UCA national competition. After competing, the participants each received a goodie bag from the UCA sponsors.
Zoë opened up her goodie bag to find tampons and a razor and shaving cream. Yeah, those are a couple of beginnings that I'm just not prepared for yet!

Chaos put to bed

Sitting listening to the sound of my computer humming and I've begun to wonder, is there ever any real silence? Have you ever tried to sit real still and be perfectly quiet? There's always still something...
Life is so much like this. Always something running...

I began to sit down and write a complete list of my multiple complaints that have built up over the day, but as I read back over those complaints, it was the bigger picture that struck me.
I guess there will always be complaints. There will always be problems. There will always be people who let you down. And I guess it's not so much those individual situations, as my response to those situations that count. Well, I think that I didn't do a great job at responding to all those situations today. I vented on a friend, and I fussed at a complete stranger. I guess I let the chaos get the best of me today.
So I'll go to bed tonight, praying for forgiveness for that and start all over again tomorrow with a better attitude and better intentions.

Why they call it Good Friday...

In the Easter story, Good Friday is the day when Jesus was crucified and died.
The Thursday night prior is when Jesus shared the passover meal with his disciples in the upper room. It's also when he went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray with Peter, James and John. Of course, those three guys fell asleep on the job while they're boss was sweating bullets over his approaching deadline. Then to top it all off, Peter, one of the people Jesus trusted the most, denyed any affiliation with the Holy Work.
Jesus went on to have a midnight trial in secret. He was questioned, accused and mocked. In the end, it was the people he came to save who sent him to his death. But before he could even get to the dying part, he was brutally beaten and scourged. I've heard it said that the instruments used to tear apart his body cut so deep you could practically see the bone. There was nothing but blood, and when that blood begin to harden on his body, it too was stripped by the tools of death used by the Romans.
Finally, Jesus was given his cross to carry to Golgotha where he would be nailed to it and set upright, left to hang there until he finally dismissed his spirit.
Now what about any of this is good? Why do they call it Good Friday?
It's because of what happened on Sunday that makes Friday good.
Sunday is when all wounds were healed. Sunday is when purpose for living was restored and when hope for an eternity was revived. Sunday is when every sin, every wicked thought or intention, every shackle of solitude and depravity was broken and set free. Sunday is when the stone was rolled away and Jesus came walking out of that tomb ALIVE! And Sunday is when I AM became victorious and all living things truly began to live!
It's Sunday that makes Friday good.

Life in the fast lane

Why is life always so chaotic? Always running from here to there, juggling responsibilities and obligations, while somewhere in the middle trying to enjoy the moment and the blessings of each day.
Chaos in the dictionary is defined as a state of utter confusion and disorder or a total lack of organization.
That sounds about right. Organization has never been my forte, and I'm often confused. And I'm not sure that's something I can change; I just love the adventure. On the other hand though, I don't usually stress out over those responsibilities and obligations either. I tend to take things as they come, do the best I can to handle them and move on.
My mom always says that I wouldn't be happy with life any other way. That I probably would come unglued in the "slow lane." She might be right....
But lately, I feel myself looking for the exit to the road less traveled. Maybe a slower way of life IS the next adventure. Wouldn't it be funny if the slow lane is just as chaotic as the fast one?

Because I'm sure I'll be talking about these folks a good bit...

This is my family... My man CJ. My precious angels Zoe and Mia. My long-suffering parents Jerry and Kit.

Getting Started...

It's a quiet room for a moment. I hear the voices of my children down the hall - both laughing and crying periodically. But as I sit on my comfy couch, I squint to see the screen of my laptop. This laptop with which I have a love-hate relationship. The sun shines in through the floor to ceiling windows all along the side of my den. The light is so bright, it's difficult to see the screen clearly...
It's been a spiritual-high weekend. I traveled to New Orleans with some ladies from our church to attend a Beth Moore conference. The tears began when I first sat down to peruse the handbook given to each participant for use on the weekend, which began with a letter from Beth. My tears were tears of relief. Have you ever held your breath for a really long time? Longer than what you felt you could endure? And then when you felt like your lungs would explode, you mouth opens wide with a gasp, sucking in as much oxygen as possible and you can finally breathe again. That's what this weekend felt like for me.
I was also reminded this weekend of the need for close friends in my life. It's something I struggle with; letting people in - letting people close. It's so much easier just to be self-sufficient, but ultimately, I think that self-sufficiency is just a mask. It's a wall. But somehow this weekend, when I wasn't looking, a floor to ceiling window was put in that wall, and since then, I've been blinded by the light that's pouring in now.

The view from these windows (the real ones in my den) is unbelievably gorgeous lately. Greens, yellows, pinks and reds. They're calling me out. Into the light. Into the sun. Into the world.