I must be crazy.
I live in a third-world country with not-great electricity
and even worse internet, yet I’ve just started working on my Masters degree via
an online, distance-learning program. What was I thinking?!?!
I am now officially a student at Southeastern Bap. Theo.
Sem. (yes, that’s a lot of abbreviations, but the little internet we have is
monitored by local govt. authorities, so it’s best to be cautious.)
Another reason why I must have been crazy to think I could
do an online program for a religious degree in a place that doesn’t allow such
business.
Not to mention that I already have a two full-time jobs
including homeschooling my two daughters and working as a Ch. Planter in an
unreached and lost city. Oh and just living in a challenging, cross-cultural
environment with few conveniences or comforts to make life a little easier eats
up a chunk of my time. Where am I supposed to find these extra 20 hours per
week needed to read, study, listen to lectures and write papers?
Now that you know I’ve completely lost my mind, I’ll try to
explain how I entered into such a situation.
It’s simple, actually.
This past winter, when our family returned to America for a
period of Stateside assignment, we spent some time reflecting on the previous
three years living in Southeast Asia and praying about Father’s direction for
the future.
One of the issues I kept bumping up against was my own lack
of Biblical training.
Sure, I’ve read the Good Book. I’ve studied it and memorized
portions of it. I know the stories in it pretty well. I’ve even taught Sunday
School. I’ve “shared” with people all over the world, and this organization
that we work for seems to approve of my capabilities. But now that I find
myself teaching and training new believers and working to start new house
groups, I feel the need to be able guide and instruct them with a broader
understanding of theological concepts.
All that was going on in the back of my head when a friend
of mine who visited us in Mississippi mentioned about all the online
opportunities for graduate degrees these days. I had never even thought it
would be a possibility to attend graduate school since we live on the far side
from any schools that I would possibly want to attend.
But I started praying about it.
Would it even be possible?
And then I checked into it.
The people I spoke with really wanted to help me.
I researched and prayed a little more.
And I felt Father speaking to me.
So I went and talked to my pastor.
Of course he’s gonna be for it, right?
I talked with my parents.
I talked with my mother-in-law.
I talked with my kids.
Everyone seemed to think it would be great.
As for CJ, well, he seems to be getting a real kick out
knowing what challenges lie ahead that he’s already experienced.
I keep trying to remind him of the many times and ways I
helped him when he was doing it almost 20 years ago.
It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years since I graduated
with my Bachelors degree from Samford in 1995. It’s amazing how many things you
forget in that long period of time.
Things like… how to study or how to write a paper. And I
don’t just mean a news story or a blog. I mean like a 20 page research paper
using Turabian style – whatever that is. Apparently it’s required that you use
five syllable words in every sentence too.
I thought I would start easy with some intro level courses
examining the O.T. or history of the Bap. Ch. or the like. But when I went to
register for my classes, those courses were already full. So the classes I was
able to get into are deeper and more intense. In other words, no one else
wanted to take these classes either. But they are required; so I figured might
as well get them out of the way. I know I’m going to learn a lot, and I know
the end result will be so worth it.
But I keep finding myself thinking, “Why God?”
“Why this?”
“Why now?”
He keeps answering, “Just trust in me.”
I’m nervous.
Nervous may even be an understatement.
I’m waaaaaaay out of my comfort zone. (That’s a five
syllable word, by the way.)
I have no confidence in myself that I’ll actually be able to
pull this off.
But then I guess that means I’ll just have to depend on Him.
I’ve been memorizing some verses these days in our local
language. The one I’m working on this week comes from the second book of
Timothy. It’s the first chapter, verse seven. The passage tells us that He did
not give us a spirit of timidity, but instead He gives us a spirit of power and
of love and self-discipline.
Self-discipline? Check.
Love? Sure, most days.
It’s the “power” part where I need His indwelling.
Honestly, I’m so thankful for this opportunity. And I’m
really praying that this educational endeavor will ultimately benefit the work
we’re trying to do here.
Would you pray for that too?
Would you pray that I’m able to balance all the things in my
already-busy schedule and prioritize according to His plan?
Would you pray that I could actually do this without really
embarrassing myself, my family and my church?
Would you pray that all this is for His glory?
Ok, now who wants to proof-read my 20 page paper?
