I never imagined it would be this way...
When we arrived in this country three years ago, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were called to this place. I knew the needs here were great. I knew that the people would be wonderful and gracious. I also knew that it would be a challenge - learning the language, adjusting cross-culturally, living life in a third world country, etc.
One of my dear friends who lived here for many years sent me an email before our arrival, and she offered some sage wisdom. She said, "Keep low expectations." For example, expect that you will not have great water or power, then when it's better than you expected, you're happy. She said, "Expect that the traffic will be frustrating and expect that it will take you a long time to learn the language." So when the situation is better than we expect, we end up feeling successful and blessed.
The only problem with that thought, is that the Spirit is able to do far more and greater than we could EVER expect or imagine, so when He intervenes and you've already got low expectations, it can just rock your world.
I never could have imagined how He would tie my heart to this place in the ways that He has.
I never could have imagined the relationships and friendships with the people we have in our lives here would be so close.
I never could have imagined the amazing ways He would work in this place, drawing more and more people to Him.
And as I sit here writing, six days before our return to America, I'm feeling torn.
We are so excited to be back among our friends and family in the States.
We are thrilled at the idea of holidays with those we love most.
We cannot wait to sit in an English worship service to just sit and soak in deep, spiritual teaching and to be able to sing praise in our own heart-language.
There are so many aspects of being in America that we are excited about.
But can I tell you, I'm really having a hard time swallowing the idea of leaving this place. Even for just a short time.
Yesterday morning, we went to our "Fish Factory" gathering place for a time of teaching and praise. When we arrived, the people had already gathered and were singing.
As I took my place near the front, I was overwhelmed with the volume of singing that was being produced from this small crowd of people. With every fiber of their being, they were giving glory to their Creator and offering their hearts completely to Him. It showed in their song. It showed on their faces. And it was overwhelming. The tears began to pour down my face...
See, I know these people. I know what they've been through to get to the place where they are now.
I have seen them come to faith and grow in their faith. I have seen them being discipled. I have seen them overcome obstacles and persecution and challenges like people in America could not comprehend. I know where they come from and I recognize the likelihood of what lies before them in their future.
Yet despite it all, there they stood, singing their praise to Him with complete abandon.
And as I stood there, listening and praying and singing, I realized this would be the last day with this special group of people for many, many months.
When they called me forward to offer some encouragement to the people yesterday morning, my mind went blank. It's hard enough to communicate in the local language when I'm thinking clearly, let alone when I'm feeling emotional.
All I could say was that I loved them. I would be praying for them. And we would see them again soon. There was so much more I wanted to say, but couldn't.
Of course, CJ stood up next and his words were eloquent and perfect. He was challenging and moving and inspiring. I am continually amazed at him and what Father does through him. Again and again, I'm reminded of how thankful I am for this amazing partner and spouse.
Now compound the feelings I'm having about this group by about 10.
We have relationships with other groups like our Fish Factory group all over the city.
It's so good.
Father is so good.
He has given us this "family" in this city. And I'm just so thankful.
I never could have imagined how excited I would be about coming home, and yet at the same time, so similarly excited about the prospect of our future return.
The goodbyes are hard, but we are joyful for the hellos that are soon to come.
Through it all, praising Him...
Merry Christmas.
