Friday, July 27, 2012

It was out of my hands


I was laying in bed the night before we would leave to go on vacation. You know how it is before you go on a trip – your mind is racing, thinking of things you need to do. Did you pack everything, are you forgetting anything, don’t forget to turn off the coffee pot, etc.
It was going to be just Miá and I on our own on our flights because CJ and Zoë had flown out the week before to go to youth summer camp. I was a little nervous knowing I would have to go through immigration, customs and just the whole process without CJ, but I reminded myself that Father was with me and everything would be ok.
It was with these thoughts that I began thinking about some girls I had recently met who worked at a shop near where we live. At the time I met them, they had been reading a book about Buddha. Because my language abilities are so limited, I hadn’t been sure exactly what to say to them, except to say that I was a Christian and I believed in J.C.
As I was lying in bed that night kinda half-praying/half-thinking, I realized that I should’ve taken those girls one of the tracts we have in their language. It’s more than a tract actually. It’s a small book that explains salvation and the sacrifice that J.C. made for all people. It’s explains how we attain a relationship with Him and what happens after death for those who believe.  It dawned on me that I could take this book to those girls, and at that moment, I promised Father that I would do that as soon as we returned from vacation. After all, Miá and I were leaving very early the next morning and there would be no time to take them the book before we left. Right?

Miá and I were so excited the next morning, not just to go on vacation, but also to see CJ and Zoë. We missed them so much over the last few days while they were gone.
Our ride picked us up and we arrived at the airport to find short lines and smooth sailing. That is, until we reached the immigration office.
Let me make a very long story short by saying, the immigration officer decided I should have to go downtown to the headquarters to get approval to leave the country and his mind could not and would not be changed. (This was a Sunday and the downtown office was closed til the next day, of course.)
Distraught is an understatement compared to what I was feeling when I realized Miá and I would not be flying out that day. Not to mention that I didn’t know where to go downtown or what I would need to do once there. How would I communicate with the people who worked in that office and how much is this all going to cost me?
Walking back in the door to our apartment after being denied departure that day was devastating. I wanted to just sit down in the middle of the floor and cry, but I tried to put on a brave face for Miá. I didn’t want to upset her anymore, but I felt lost and helpless and alone – it was horrible. I didn’t know what to do except cry out to Father.
I wasn’t expecting His answer…
“Take those girls the Book,” He said.
“Huh? No, Sir, I was asking what should I do about this situation I’m in?”
“Yes, I know,” came another reply. “Take those girls that Book and I’ll take care of your situation.”
“You HAVE GOT to be KIDDING ME!” I may have even said those words out loud. “Really?!?”
Now, I don’t know if Father allowed Miá and I not to be able to fly out that day so that I would go talk to those girls about Him, but He sure did turn a bad situation into something worthwhile. And honestly, I wasn’t very happy about the Romans 8:28 verse that kept playing in my head at that moment.
But I acquiesced.
“If this is what you want, then I’ll do it,” I thought.
And I did.
After much practice and word for word memorization of what I needed to say, I searched out those girls and gave them the Book. Miraculously I was even able to share with them my short testimony in their language.
And just like He promised, Father worked out my immigration problems. A relative of a co-worker of a friend of a friend showed up at the office downtown the next day to walk me through every step of a long process.
All I can say is it was absolutely divine intervention that he came and took care of everything – every piece of paperwork, every phone call, every discussion that was required to allow Miá and I to go. This man was an angel in disguise who showed up completely out of the blue because without him, I would never have been able to accomplish what he did.
Miá and I were even able to make the last flight out of our city that night. Unfortunately, our connecting flight was late so the two of us had to spend an unexpected night in Bangkok, but we eventually made it to our final destination and into the arms of loved ones.
And, let me tell ya, our vacation was SWEET!
We soaked up every single minute with love and laughter and togetherness. It was great!
Most importantly, we returned to our home city refreshed and with a new vigor for the work He has called us to do.

On a sidenote: one of the girls that I took a Book to that day when we were held up is no longer working at that store. I discovered when we returned that she was gone and I will likely never see her again. If I had waited to take her that Book after we got back, she would not have gotten it. I’m so thankful now that I had that opportunity to share. His ways ARE perfect!



Here's a few snapshots from our vacation in the beautiful mountains of Northern Thailand...

On our drive through the mountains,
we frequently stopped to enjoy the view.



Miá's favorite hangout spot!


We rode bareback.

How did they get a comfy seat?





One of the bathrooms at the cottage where we stayed. :)

Climbing, hiking & trekking were some of our favorite activities.



Rafting on a few pieces of bamboo tied together with rope.

We'll definitely come back to this place!





Always time to stop and chat with the locals, especially such sweet kids!


Zipline in the trees!







Several boxes of goodies were waiting on us at the post office in Bangkok before heading home. :)




Saturday, July 7, 2012

Get ready to die


What is your most embarrassing moment?
We all have them – those experiences that cause us to humiliate ourselves in front of others.
I always think back to one of my very first jobs working at an advertising agency in New Orleans when I fell over in my chair in front of the president of the company (wearing a skirt, no less.)
It’s inevitable. Everyone, at some point in his or her life, is completely humbled.

“Humbled” is also how I frequently feel throughout this process of moving to another country, learning the language and becoming settled in its culture.
When CJ and I and our girls left the States, we were on top of our game. We both had great jobs that we dearly loved. We had a home that was warm and full and brought us much joy. We had family and friends, and, overall, life was good. On top of that we got to do all kinds of ministry, and we both felt that we had strong, active and thriving relationships with J.C. So when it was undeniable that Father was calling us to serve Him on foreign soil, we knew we had to go.
Jump ahead to the current time and we are now living and working to do what He wants of us in Southeast Asia. But we have been completely humbled.
It’s like being a baby all over again. We can’t speak the language, we are dependent on others around us to help us and it’s a huge struggle. The jobs where we found much of our identity are gone, our family is left behind and the ease with which life flowed before has now transitioned into something more like climbing up a steep mountain without a rope.
It’s hard and sometimes it hurts.

In spite of all this, lately, I’ve been having some amazing devotional times. I’ve really been feeling Father speak to me in those quiet moments we spend together in the mornings, and I know He is working in my life.
I was explaining all this to a good friend recently saying I knew He was humbling me for a reason, I just wasn’t sure yet how or why. I was still waiting to receive that divine understanding…

This past week we attended some meetings for company personnel working throughout this area. It was a great time of refreshment and renewal and a much needed break from the stresses of our jobs. It was also at these meetings when I felt the Master speaking to me through the words of our company president.
He was talking about “dying to self” as found in a passage in the book of John, chapter 12 verse 24 which says: I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
This great orator painted a picture with his words of a seed of wheat. As it germinates from seed to stalk, it stretches upward toward the sky growing higher and higher everyday. It basks in the light of warmth of the sun, til one day when it reaches maturity the stalk is cut down. The grain (if it had mind of its own) would surely be thinking, “No! Don’t cut me down! I love standing tall above the rest of the world, swaying in the breeze and savoring the light.” But that’s not what it is meant for. That grain has a different purpose.
The speaker said, “The Father does not intend for us to just grow to spiritual maturity. Sometimes we have to be broken to provide food for others.” Just like that grain of wheat that is cut down so that it may produce many other seeds, so must we.

Wow.

Tears started spilling down my cheeks at that moment. I knew this message was for me.
See, I think all this time, whenever I read this passage in John before, I felt like I had already died to self. I had given up everything in my life that was comfortable and satisfying. I gave up my own selfish desires of wanting what I want. I was doing what Father wanted, right?
So why is He continuing to break me and humble me completely?
It’s because He wants to use me.

At that moment I felt both sorrowful for my own ignorance and exhilarated to know that I get to be a part of His work.
He’s breaking me so that I can become less of me and more of Him.
He’s breaking me so that He can use me.
He’s breaking me so that He can work in the lives of the people of Southeast Asia.

Dying to self is painful. But what other choice do we have?
Withering up? No thanks. I think I’d rather fulfill my life’s purpose.

As I was listening to this message, I couldn’t help thinking, “I wish my friends and family at home could hear this message. It’s so powerful. It might change their life just like it’s changed mine.”
That’s when I heard the Father say, “They can hear this message. You must share it with them.”
I think Father may be calling some of you to be cut down. Aren’t you tired of just swaying in the breeze? Don’t you want to be useful for His kingdom’s growth even if it means being dying to self?
My pr’yer is that you do.

Seek ye first His kingdom, and He will do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine.