Friends are friends forever...

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

My whole life, I've had good friends.
Some of my best friendships began in high school and they have remained despite the many changes we've all had in our lives. A few friends in particular I consider most dear because they have known me and loved me through crazy hairstyles, boyfriend problems, acne and pubescent immaturity.

1991

2011

My closest friendship began in college. Life threw us together and we remained inseparable our first two years together at Samford University. Those were formative years and when everything else seemed to be changing at lightning speed, the one constant in my life was her friendship. Today I still consider her one my most valuable friends.
When I got a little older, establishing new close friendships was more challenging. After taking care of kids and husbands and jobs and obligations, there's not much time left to invest elsewhere. Yet I was blessed to have several women that I called close friends. Friends that I played bunko with and went shopping with. Friends to do lunch with. That group of ladies brought such joy into my life. And it's not easy when your husband is on staff at a Gathering Place. Many P.Wives feel detached from other women and unable to have close friendships, but that just wasn't the case where we lived.
And the women where I worked were the most special. When you spend all day together, day in and out for years and years, you inevitably get close to those people. The women at my workplace were unique in that they would always tell me what I needed to hear whether I liked it or not. I knew I could trust them with anything. We laughed, we cried, we struggled, we played, we just did life together. And it was special.

When my family left our hometown to move to the other side of the globe, I never even considered the idea of having friends. I just figured that I was leaving family and friends behind and that those kind of relationships would be impossible where we were moving. I prepared to be isolated and separated from anyone with any similarities or shared interests. I couldn't imagine ever having friendships like the ones we were saying goodbye to.
So I was really surprised when we became very close to the people we were in training with in Virginia. At the end of our eight weeks together, we were so close that it felt like we had known these people all our lives. And these were people with different backgrounds and upbringings. Some were older, some were younger. They saw us at our best and at our worst, sometimes soaring, sometimes at our very lowest. Yet they stayed our friends and had become family in the absence of our blood relatives.
I remember thinking when our training was over at how surprised I was at the friendships Father had put in our lives. I was not expecting to have people who were so new in my life become so important in my life so quickly. Yet that's just what happened.

And it didn't stop there.
Father has continued to fill our lives with friendships and love with people who have been in our lives for just over a year but have become as close as family.

This weekend, I was privileged to attend a Ladies Retreat in our city with some of those very friends. The Shepherd and his wife from FBC Charleston, S.C. were in town visiting some members who live here and happen to be co-workers of ours. The wife said she would love to lead a time of fun, encouragement and Good Book Study for the women of our company who live in this place, and that's just what we did.
There were about ten of us in all who got to share in this wonderful time of fellowship and renewal. We played games, we learned calligraphy, we at A LOT of good food, we were challenged and edified... and it was wonderful. There were times when we were laughing so hard that we had tears rolling down our faces. There were times when the tears were caused from dealing with hurts and sadness that bubbled up while spending time on our knees with Father. It was such a beneficial time for all of us there and I couldn't help but feel so grateful to the members of FBC Charleston, S.C. who made this time possible for us.

But there was a point during the retreat this weekend, as I sat in a moment of quiet time looking around the room at the ladies there, I felt so overwhelmed at the friendships Father has placed in my life.
Each of the women in that room are so special to me. I know I could call on any of them in a moment's notice with a need and they would answer immediately. I can tell these women absolutely anything about my life - and let me tell ya, we've talked about EVERYTHING! - yet they love me and support me unconditionally.
I share a common bond with these women. We have all felt the call to be living here and we all want more than anything to serve Father and bring honor to Him. We have all struggled to survive in this city while endeavoring to keep our families united and content. We have all been broken through language learning. We have all endured persecution and despair. We have all experienced the joy that only comes from seeing a lost sheep come home.
And it can be so hard.
Life is hard.

On Saturday night, several of us had gone for a short walk and as we walked along the deserted road, we all walked side by side in a line.
I realized how beautiful this picture of friendship was. No one was ahead or behind. No one was left out or in the center spotlight. It was just a few friends walking side by side facing life together as it comes. It was a sweet moment and one that I'll not forget for a long time.

There is a quote from a book by Henri Nouwen that I think defines this thought much better than I can. It says:

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Giving, taking, sharing, listening, loving - it's what friendship is about and I feel so blessed to get to soak in its warmth. Friendship is truly a gift from God.



"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become and still, gently allows you to grow." - William Shakespeare

"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." - Elie Wiesel

"The best mirror is an old friend." - George Herbert

"'We'll be friends forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet. 'Even longer,' Pooh answered." - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

What's in a name?

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Shakespeare has a point. But I have to respectfully disagree, a little.

A name cannot change the characteristics of an object or person, but it can affect others’ opinions and impressions about that object or person.

For example, what if a rose was not called a rose, but instead called a rilf.

“Yes, I’d like to order a dozen rilfs please.”

I don’t think so…

The point I’m trying to make is that names are important.

Doesn’t every parent spend hours and hours thinking about potential names for their children before they’re born?

Names can often reflect someone’s personality or disposition. That’s why picking just the right one is so important.

We were told before we arrived in this country that eventually someone would give us a name in the language of the place we’re living. We were told that the name could only come from a person born and raised in this country, and that we were not allowed to decide the name ourselves. A local person who knew us well would give us our name when the time was right.

And like a child waiting eagerly all year for Christmas to come, we waited to receive our names.

All of our American friends who live here had all been given local names, and I loved asking them who gave them their names and what they meant.

Throughout the year we’ve been living here, we asked some of our local friends repeatedly if they would like to give us names, but no one really ever wanted to.

We’ve been asked a few times to give English names to some of our local friends, and it’s really hard. So I completely understand their hesitation. A name lasts forever, right? So it’s got to be perfect.

Names in this country are even more important. Their names all have special meanings, and they don’t have last names here. Only first names. However, their first names might be three, four or even five words! We have seriously struggled with people’s names here because they’re so hard to remember.

Little Miá got her name pretty quickly after we arrived here. She is so endearing to the local people, that she was easily and enthusiastically named by one of our sweet “sisters-in-spirit” who we see regularly.

Miá was given the name သဲ သဲ which sounds like Thay Thay. It literally means “I love you with all my liver.”

I know, I know. In America we say, “I love you with all my heart.” But here, they love with their liver.

Just trust me, it’s a precious name which suits little Miá perfectly.

Almost everyone in our building knows little Thay Thay, and anytime I go anywhere I always hear the question, “Where is Thay Thay?”

I love it.

The rest of us continued to wait for our local names…

The apartment where we live is above, what could best be described as, a little mall. There is a grocery store, a few clothing shops, a couple of small restaurants, a pharmacy, etc.

We inevitably go downstairs everyday to buy the food items we need to cook with that day, but also we enjoy practicing our language with the workers that we have come to know very well.

One day last week we were downstairs as usual chatting with some of the workers. We were talking about how difficult it is to remember their names when one of the ladies suggested that she would like to give us local names. She said she already knew the perfect names for us and had picked them out.

We were excited and happy to hear her say those words.

Like a cultural rite of passage, she bestowed us with our new names and told us the meanings.

My name is ေမ ပု လဲ which sounds like May Buh’Lay. It means something like “precious as a pearl.” I later learned that Western women are also often given names of things that are white because of our white skin.

I like the name because it reminds me so much of my beloved grandmother’s name: Mabel. I’ve always loved her name.

My mother also said that my local name is reminiscent of my maiden name: Marable.

I like it!

CJ’s name is….. (drumroll please): ဦး ခန့္ ညား which sounds like Oooh Cant Nyah. You will not be surprised to learn the meaning of his name.

It basically means Mr. Handsome.

How perfect is that?

He’s a little embarrassed to tell other people his name, but I keep reminding him that it was given to him by someone else and he didn’t decide it.

Hey, if the shoe fits, wear it, right? :)

Zoë is still waiting on her local name. Ironically, she’s the one with the most local friends by far, but she’s still waiting.

It will come.

The best thing about our new names is that it means we are just one more small step closer to becoming immersed in the culture. We have come to love this country and the people here so much. We want to be able to talk like they do. We want to understand their values and their ideas. We want to be a part of their culture as much as possible so that we can better share with them about our Father and His love.

Hopefully in sharing about our new names, we can share about His many names. We want to tell them how to have their name put into the Lamb’s book of life.

I wonder which name we’ll have listed there, our English name or our new local name?

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Anyone out there ever received a new name in a different language? I'd love to hear what it is, what it means and how you received it. Please share!

“…and at the sound of (His name) every knee will bow….” the second chapter of Phil., the tenth verse.