I'm hanging on to my "handle"

Living in a third world country has given me so many life experiences. I have learned about things that I probably never would have been exposed to had we never left our comfortable, first-world home.

For example, I know now that if you find little ants all over your bread, all you have to do is pop that bread in the freezer for a few minutes and they miraculously disappear.

I’ve learned that if you open your silverware drawer and find roaches there, they will run away from the light. Just leave that drawer open (never close it) and they’ll stay away.

I’ve learned that if you put your food in a cabinet that has legs and stand those legs in little bowls filled with baby powder, it keeps the bugs away. Apparently bugs don’t like baby powder – I would have never known!

I’ve also learned a lot about cooking.

Because we can’t buy convenience items where we live, I’ve had to learn how to make those items first in order to feed my family the foods they love most.

For instance, we can’t buy sour cream here, but the recipe is so simple. You mix one cup whipping cream with one tablespoon of white vinegar and in 30 seconds you have sweet, smooth sour cream.

You can make an easy buttermilk (perfect for frying chicken) by putting one tablespoon of white vinegar in a one-cup measuring cup and fill it up the rest of the way with whole milk. Stir it around a few seconds and you have exactly what the recipe calls for.

We can almost always get natural ingredients like local vegetables and fruit and pretty much any kind of noodle or rice. We can get different kinds of meat, although they don’t taste quite like the stuff in America because it’s not been processed the same way and there are no preservatives. 

The spices are a little different… I’m still learning how to use turmeric and masala and star anise. If you want regular old garlic powder or ground mustard, you’ll have to go to the import/export store for that.

The problem is you can never predict what you’ll find at that store which brings in goods from Thailand, Singapore and the sometimes the U.S.

I’ve been needing mustard for weeks now. The last jar I had was pretty much full when I accidentally dropped it and shattered it all over the kitchen floor. I’ve been wanting to make a replica of Outback’s honey-mustard sauce for homemade chicken tenders. It’s hard to make when you can’t get the main ingredient.

Some things we can get pretty regularly, but they’re very expensive. A small package of Hershey’s cocoa powder will cost upwards of $12.00.

Still we’ve learned to make do, and it’s been fun trying out new recipes and experiencing new foods.

With Thanksgiving knocking on our door, I thought it might be nice to visit the idea of cooking in an underdeveloped country.

Thanksgiving has, over the last ten years or so, become one of my favorite holidays. Oh, Christmas is great, but it can be so busy and hectic. Honestly, I’m having a hard time recalling all the other American holidays because they’re not celebrated where we are. But Thanksgiving has always been the one holiday that is purely about family and friends and great food. I think that’s also why it’s been the holiday that is most difficult for me, living so far away. Christmas is the busiest time of year for folks in our line of work. We have so many opportunities for sharing during the season of Christ’s birth. But Thanksgiving has been the day where I just sit and mope and miss my family back in the States.

That’s why a couple years ago we started the tradition of going on our visa run to Kuala Lumpur over Thanksgiving. It keeps us busy and we get to eat at Chili’s Restaurant (they’re only found in Malaysia in this part of the world.)

But because we’re coming back to America in a few weeks (five to be precise), we won’t be taking another visa run this year. However, as it happens, this year we are invited to a big Thanksgiving shindig with some other expat friends who live in our city. This is going to be a big party with about 50 people all gathered at one house. We’re going to have a friendly, flag-football game followed by what’s sure to be some amazing food, but best of all lots of fellowship and fun. I’m really looking forward to it!

I’m signed up for a few of the requisite dishes including the ever-faithful green bean casserole. So here we go… I can get fresh green beans here (not canned.) Main ingredient, check. Sometimes I can even find the cans of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup, so a few weeks ago when I discovered some at the import/export store, I stocked up. Main ingredient number two, check. The problem comes in the dried onions to go on top. It’s just not a green bean casserole without those onions. I had been searching recipes online on how to make those from scratch when I found out a friend was coming in from Thailand. Unfortunately, even in Thailand they can’t get the dried onions, but that friend has a team coming to visit from America before she comes here. So those volunteers (who happen to be from Alabama) are bringing in a couple cans of dried onions to Thailand, and then my friend will bring them with her from Thailand to Myanmar when she comes. Talk about going to great lengths for a Thanksgiving dish.

I’m also in charge of the pumpkin pie. Pie crust from scratch? No doubt. No pre-made here. I did, however, buy a couple cans of pumpkin puree when we were in Malaysia this past September. So that recipe is good to go.

My problem is found in my all-time favorite Thanksgiving dish… deviled eggs. I can’t find mustard! How do you make deviled eggs without mustard? Oh I’m sure there’s a way. I can probably make mustard using the little bit of ground mustard I have stored in my pantry. Maybe that should be the next core ingredient I tackle learning how to make.

I’ve heard people say that when you move overseas, you have to find your “handle.” It’s what you hold on to, to help you keep your sanity when the challenges become overwhelming. For me, that handle has been cooking.

When the power doesn’t work or when I can’t speak the language as proficiently as I’d like; when I can’t remember simple algebraic expressions to teach my home-schooled high-schooler or when I can’t figure out the rules for driving like the locals, cooking is the one thing that I know will work.

You add a smidge of one ingredient to a smidge of a few others, and voila! You’ve created something wonderful.

Oh sometimes there are mishaps. I’ve been working on some Indian dishes – I can’t seem to get them quite right. More often than not the power goes out right in the middle of baking something in my electric oven. But on the whole, it’s been a really rewarding and educational pursuit.

Before we came here, I had to have a map to find the kitchen in my house. Now, it’s the part of the house where you’ll find me most often.

I do have so much to be thankful for during this season of Thanksgiving: American holidays celebrated with friends, a family that’s always willing to try the crazy recipes I come up with, and the opportunity to experience it all from this part of the world.

I am truly blessed.

Now if I could just find some mustard, I’d be even more thankful! J

Mia is such a big helper and quite a good cook herself!

Local favorite noodle dish

Cashew chicken, at least once every couple weeks my family demands this.

I think I've just about mastered the panna cotta. This one was with an orange jelly. 

This one we served with caramel. Yum!

Homemade Reese's cups

Happy family...

Three years and counting

Yesterday (October 17) we celebrated three years on the field. THREE YEARS!

In some ways, it seems like the time has gone by so fast. Yet it also seems like it was such a long time ago since we last stood face to face with our friends and family in America.

I remember that morning like it was yesterday.

The day we were to set out for our harvest field, we had decided ahead of time that we should say goodbye to my parents at their house rather than having a long, drawn out, emotional scene at the airport. I’m pretty sure it would have been a two-hour tearful drive all the way down to the New Orleans airport, and that’s just not the way you want to start a long plane ride.

Instead our dear friends, Rene Dungan and Carol Davis, arrived at the house at 4am that morning to drive us down. Before our departure, we were also surprised by a visit from Tom and Gloria Thurman who wanted to join with us in a parting prayer. 

I remember the sunrise that morning as we crossed the Lake Pontchartrain bridge into New Orleans. It was the dawn of a new day and a new adventure.

These three years have been an adventure for sure, but it has also been so much more than that. It’s been a life-altering, mind-blowing, rock-your-world kind of experience.

There was our initial culture shock: there’s no cellphones here? There’s no Western restaurants of any kind here? There’s no hair salon that can do highlights? What?!?!

There was the really fun experience of language learning: um, can you speak a little slower? Um, can you say that again? Um, can you speak to me like I’m a toddler just learning to talk? Huh?!?

There are all the mistakes we made: you can’t go in there. You can’t sit like that. You can’t say it like that. You’re not supposed to eat that! Uh oh…

But most surprising of all were all the relationships and friendships that were made: you cooked that for me? I can’t believe you came this far just to see me. She did that for me! Wow…

Over these three years, we have fallen in love with this country and these people, and we are so thankful for every opportunity we’ve had with them.

We celebrated our three year anniversary by doing what we do pretty regularly here -

CJ spent the morning training local partners.

The girls and I did homeschool.

In the afternoon, the whole family went out to visit some friends, and that evening CJ and I had a dinner date. (Our dinner date is not an everyday thing. It’s about a once a month opportunity that just happened to fall on our three year anniversary. Perfect timing!)

Sharing the Good News and spending time with friends and family – what better way could there have been to celebrate these awesome three years?

Three years and counting, I should say.

We are looking forward to many more years of serving our Father in His harvest field, as He sees fit to lead us.

What exactly is a visa run?

How about a visa tutorial?
No, I'm not talking about a visa credit card.
I'm talking about that little stamp you get in your passport that allows you to enter another country.
Well, every country is different and the rules for acquiring those visas are all different. There's not a simple cookie-cutter visa process so it can get a little complicated. There are different types of visas and each type usually allows a specific length of time you can stay in that country.
For the country we're living in, a tourist on a tourist visa can stay up to 30 days.
We have business visas, so we're allowed to stay 70 days, but after that length of time, we are required to exit the country. 70 days is the longest amount of time any foreigner on any visa (except maybe a diplomat) is allowed to stay in this country at a time.
Then to make matters more complicated, we actually have a one year business visa so we only have to go to this country's embassy in Thailand once a year to renew it. Every other 70 days, we are only required to exit and then a couple days later we can return.
These short trips out and back, we call "visa runs."
I like to think of it as the government's way of keeping up with visiting foreigners.
For us, those short trips out usually take us to Bangkok or Kuala Lumpur where we can get mail, get money, use high-speed internet for computer updates, etc. It's also pretty much the only time we get to eat Western food. It's also when we do planned medical check-ups and dentist visits. Not to mention those flights out are usually cheaper than the cost of filling up our gas tank.
Also, our company has housing in most of the bigger cities where we can stay for just the cost of using the utilities.

For our family, last week the time arrived for our visa run. This would be our last visa run before our long trip back to America for our furlough, so we really had nothing important to accomplish. Normally during this time we would do our Christmas shopping, but since we'll do our Christmas shopping in America and we're having to pack up our stuff and move before coming home, we didn't need to buy anything. We're actually trying to slim down the amount of stuff we have. Normally we bring back suitcases loaded up with goodies and gadgets, but this time it was nice travelling light.

We made our visa run to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, but instead of staying in the city, we drove up into the mountains of the Cameron Highlands with another family who have become close friends over these last few years.
The company house there was beautiful and the weather was COLD. It was awesome!
We were only there three days, but it was a great break from the heat and hecticness (is that a word?) of the city where we live.

CJ made it his personal project to have a fire in the fireplace every night.

The girls enjoyed eating breakfast with a view.

They also loved spending time with the other family's kids - especially this cutie!

The front porch of the house.

Uncle CJ pointing the way while out exploring... :)

Lots of selfies!

This area is known for its tea production and we enjoyed exploring a local tea plantation.

Our favorite place to eat was a restaurant that had amazing Indian food. 

We were, however, happy to return to our beloved city. Especially with the knowledge that we have only nine weeks left to go until we'll arrive back in our other beloved city, Columbia, Mississippi.

We want to soak up every minute we have here with our dear friends and partners in the work in the coming days. As much as we're looking forward to coming to America, we are going to miss our Asian family so much during our absence.
Is it weird to say we're already looking forward to being back with them too before we've even left?
We are truly so blessed!

A little rant and a little rave.

It's been one of those weeks....

Electricity has been bad - it's not always just off or on, sometimes (lots of times actually) we have low electricity. That means it doesn't come in at full strength. This week for some reason, we had high electricity and as a result our dryer exploded.
Of course it happens on a day when we have 30 people coming to the house and it's impossible to get rid of the burning wires/smoke smell.
We're already down to our last few sets of clothes and the ones that happened to be in the dryer when it exploded were also rendered unwearable.
This was all compounded by a couple days of no water. I couldn't dry clothes anyway, so not being able to wash them was not a big deal. We've learned to adjust to this problem which occurs frequently. We do stock up on drinking water, but no water for washing dishes or flushing the toilet is still a frustration.
The electricity in Zoe's room has been bad for several months - she's not able to do anything in her room like even run a fan - so she's been sleeping in Mia's room ever since. It's just too hot in her room without some form of air circulation. Mia's room was also filled with smoke from the dryer situation, so she and Zoe had to sleep the night in our bedroom on the floor. We've all had colds and coughs, probably from all the mold that's growing in our apartment. (Water pipes behind the walls are leaking, so nothing can be done to stop the amount of water damage and increasing fungus.) So someone was always coughing through the night and none of us could get any sleep.
I went to the grocery store to buy some needed items that I would use to make meals for the week, but at the grocery store there was no skim milk, no beans, no cheese and no peanut butter. At the bakery, there was no bread. (It's really not unusual as it sounds. They don't eat bread here so the bakery is mostly cakes and cookies. Sometimes though they have bread. This particular day, of course, they did not.)
Homeschooling was particularly brutal this week - partly because of the girls having too much "together time" these days, and they seem to continuously irritate each other.
Of course, CJ is busier than ever (which is a good thing) but it means that I end up having to deal with a lot of this at home on my own.
Then the worst thing happened. The outlet where I plug in my coffee pot burned out and I had no other place to plug it in. We don't have outlets throughout our apartment like in America, mostly because we just don't have enough electricity to run a bunch of electric appliances. We do have one random outlet by our front door which is rarely used but it was too high up on the wall to plug in my coffee maker. I had to rig up a system to be able to use it for a couple days until I could get the lone outlet in the kitchen replaced.
On top of all that, everyday when I sat down to do my quiet time, inevitably some sort of hindrance or distraction interrupted me.
It just felt like I couldn't win.

Trying to come up with ways to feed my family without having basic staples (or quick restaurants to run to)....
Trying to make sure my girls are healthy and happy and receiving a good education...
Trying to keep our home clean and comfortable...
Trying to communicate with family and friends in America...
Trying to do the "work" we're called here to do (our real purpose for being here in the first place)
Trying to keep myself sane while doing all these things without coffee!

This is my job and frankly this week I just didn't feel like I was doing anything very well. I was aggravated and frustrated and, well, sorta losing it.

Part of the problem is that, no matter how much we try to focus on where we are and what we're doing, in the back of our minds is the thought that we're going to America in three months. That also means that we'll be packing up and moving out of our apartment in two and a half months, so it just doesn't make sense to put a lot of money into fixing some of the household problems we're having or even buying a new dryer because we won't have a lot of room for storage during our time Stateside. So we basically just have to endure the challenges for a few months.
Easier said than done.

However, in the midst of it all, I've felt Father speaking to me.
Music lately has been my place of refuge. When I exercise or those few minutes right before crashing into bed at night, I find encouragement and inspiration to keep on going by listening to some of my favorite songs.
Broken Hallelujah by The Afters is one of those songs that I sing at the top of my lungs when I'm running. Sometimes I even find myself raising my hands up in the air and then I realize that there are a bunch of local folks around me just staring - half in fright, half in confusion. I can just hear them thinking, "Crazy foreigner..."
Desert Song by Hillsong United was one that I first heard at our summer convention this past July and it seems to be the theme song of my life these days. The words are so true and I find it so meaningful.
Finally, I always like to finish up by listening to Fix My Eyes by for God and Country. It always always always brings a smile to my face and gives me fortitude.

The message that all these songs have in common is that no matter what happens, no matter what hardships come our way, no matter how many times I struggle or fight or fall, I know that He is with me.
That's HUGE! The creator of the whole world, the one who knows all and sees all and is all-powerful is with little-ole me. How could I ever be discouraged when that is my truth?
Well, I do still get discouraged, but not for long.

Yesterday I was out running and I happened upon a group of young monks, all likely aged 8-15, walking through a neighborhood seeking rice and other food from the people in that area.

Can you imagine having to go house to house everyday asking for food and living completely dependent on the perceived karma of the people living there?
Everyday I see children without shoes.
I see families hungry.
I see desperation and hopelessness, and I know I have nothing to complain about.
Even writing this blog, I already feel guilty.
We have so much and so much to be thankful for.

Ok, so I'm feeling better now.
What about you?



Broken Hallelujah by The Afters:

I can barely stand right now
Everything is crashing down
And I wonder where You are


You know the things that have brought me here
You know the story of every tear
'Cause You've been here from the very start


[Chorus:]
I've seen joy and I've seen pain
And on my knees I call Your name
Here's my broken Hallelujah
With nothing left to hold onto
I raise these empty hands to You
Here's my broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah



Desert Song by Hillsong United:

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand


[Chorus:]
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Homeschool hurdles

I was thinking this morning back to when CJ had first finished seminary and was interviewing with churches throughout the South, seeking the Father’s leading for our lives.

I remember the lunch meeting we had with Dr. Wayne VanHorn and immediately feeling a connection with him and his church that we had not even yet met.

I remember the drive we made up to Columbia, Mississippi, that first time when we met with a small group of church leaders to discuss the student pastor position and pray for divine guidance.

Most of all, I remember feeling like God was laying the path for us and all we had to do was simply walk forward.

It is still true today.

All of those moments were a part of a bigger plan that would lead us ultimately to where we are today.

To me, it is so comforting to know that someone who is all-knowing and all-powerful is guiding my life. All I have to do is walk with Him.

These thoughts have given great comfort during times of difficult transitions, culture shock, language learning and now homeschooling.

We knew Father was guiding us to homeschooling. (See previous blog called "Decisions" from March 14, 2014.) This is obviously what He wants for us for this season of life.

We had been praying like crazy over this idea of homeschooling. We had talked with wise educators and conferred with mentors. We had prepared and planned – basically we had done everything within our power to make sure we did this thing right.

I was so excited for that first day we would start our homeschool.

That’s why the weekend before when I started getting sick, I got worried. I knew how important it would be to get our school started on the right foot and didn’t want anything to prevent that. Having bronchitis during those first days was not part of the plan.

Also the first morning when we had planned to start, I got up early to get things ready.  I was coughing a bunch because of the bronchitis and at one point when I coughed so hard, I bent over at the waist and in the process threw my back out.

“I’m not old enough to have these problems!” I screamed in frustration.

I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t sit. How was I going to teach the girls?

I remembered that some friends had sent us a couple bottles of Aleve in a recent package and so I quickly downed a couple. I would just have to bear up and endure the pain for a little while.

The rest of the morning went okay, but then our afternoon got disrupted by an EARTHQUAKE!

Oh, it was a minor one and no damage was done. It was still a huge disruption and a little unsettling, as you would imagine. After that, our day was pretty much shot.

“What else could possibly go wrong today?” I thought to myself. 

At one point I realized that all these problems could be spiritual warfare, and I was bound and determined to not let anything like that conquer us.

The next day was better, and everyday since then has continued to improve. There’s been a couple hiccups here and there, but we try to learn from those issues and press on.

Through it all, I’ve been continually reminded that God is with us. He is in control, and I’m so thankful.

Last week, we had the opportunity to go out as a family to do some “outreach” in a new area. It was so awesome that the girls got to participate in this activity which they would not have been able to do had they been attending a real school.

It’s also been really fun having this extra time together as a family. We get to do school together, and eat all our meals together. We have countless more opportunities for silly dancing (which we love) and singing and playing.

We also know that homeschooling will make our visit in America much easier. We’ll be able to travel around to see all our friends and family without the girls getting behind in their studies. After all, our homeschool will go with us wherever we go. It really works out great.

By the way, the name of our homeschool is SWAG Academy. To be sure, our girls are swaggy in their personality, but for us SWAG means so much more than just that. It stands for “Saved With Amazing Grace.”

Everyday when we start school and we think about this name, it reminds us of why we’re here and doing all this in the first place.

We’re still seeking ideas for a mascot…. Any suggestions?

We sectioned off a part of our living room to do homeschooling.

Each girl has their own bookshelf for all their books and supplies.

There are giggles coming from this part of the house throughout the day. :)

Natural light from the window helps during times when we have no electricity.

There’s been laughter. There have been tears. And we’re still really just getting started. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And as I sit here in the quiet this morning – Miá is taking a math test and Zoë is writing an English paper – I’m in awe of how once again Father has brought such great things into our lives.