A little more everyday, I'm learning that life is about reflexes. How you respond to the surprises in life, the unplanned moments and the interuptions. Just when you think you have things figured out, there's a bump in the road or a fork in the road or maybe even a dead end.
Well, you can't just sit down in the middle of the road and cry about it. You have to do something about it.
I know I'm a magnet for chaos. It's a world I've grown accustomed to. But there are a few daily routines that fill my day, like my morning coffee. I can't imagine a day without the habit. The first of the morning catch up with the office staff. I love coming into the office in the mornings to find everyone eating breakfast or maybe even just filling out paperwork at their desks, but while they do, they're talking about what happened over the weekend or the night before. I truly enjoy hearing about what is going on in their lives each day. But for daily routines, that's about it for me.
I do try to plan. For instance, I'm going to New York this summer for a few days. I've made hotel reservations. I even bought tickets to a Broadway musical in advance. But at some point I recognize the best prepartion I can do is to be prepared for the unknown.
I think that's the way life is and the only true way to be prepared for the twists, turns, ups and downs, is to know how to bounce back or get up. So can you truly be prepared for the unknown? The answer is yes, and faith is the key!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I am determined
Every morning, the first thing I do when I open my eyes is to roll over, grab my cell phone and check my email. This morning started out with an email from a good friend in Bangladesh. It was as if God were speaking to me already, preparing me for a morning of worship.
Like clockwork, the girls and CJ were running out the door to go to church and I was left with a few quiet moments to get ready myself while also cooking a dish to take for the lunch that would be served after the morning service.
I sat down with a cup of coffee to study my morning Bible devotion. More preparation for a coming worship service.
That worship service finally arrived and after a morning spent talking with God and His preparation of my heart for this service, I was excited to see and feel His presence there in our sanctuary.
I often wonder if others see God in our services as visibly as I do. But His presence this morning was undeniable. There was singing, fellowship and a time of honoring some men of our church for their years of dedication, then it was time for the choir to lead in a well-known version of "I Am Determined."
From the moment the music began, I could feel God swell in our sanctuary as if He filled the whole room to the four corners, then He breathed His breath into the soloist who brought forth the audible voice of God. My breathing became heavy and my soul was humbled from awesome display that was transpiring. Then the choir joined in singing "I am determined to be invincible til He has finished His purpose in me." And it dawned on me that all of this was for me. God was speaking to me. From the moment my eyes opened til this dramatic and emotional stirring in our worship service, God was telling me that He is with me always; He has a purpose for me still and He wants me to be unshakeable in following His will.
Wow! I could barely sing the song. The words were on my lips, but no voice was coming out. The song ended with a huge climax providing just a glimpse into what I think Heaven will look like and as the Minister of Music waved His arms to end the song, the lights went out in the building.
Woh...
As if I wasn't aware that Christ was there already, it was like He put His stamp on the final note. It still gives me chills just thinking about it.
All I could do was smile, to know that God cares so much to do all this for me. I wonder what He was doing for others this morning as well.
Like clockwork, the girls and CJ were running out the door to go to church and I was left with a few quiet moments to get ready myself while also cooking a dish to take for the lunch that would be served after the morning service.
I sat down with a cup of coffee to study my morning Bible devotion. More preparation for a coming worship service.
That worship service finally arrived and after a morning spent talking with God and His preparation of my heart for this service, I was excited to see and feel His presence there in our sanctuary.
I often wonder if others see God in our services as visibly as I do. But His presence this morning was undeniable. There was singing, fellowship and a time of honoring some men of our church for their years of dedication, then it was time for the choir to lead in a well-known version of "I Am Determined."
From the moment the music began, I could feel God swell in our sanctuary as if He filled the whole room to the four corners, then He breathed His breath into the soloist who brought forth the audible voice of God. My breathing became heavy and my soul was humbled from awesome display that was transpiring. Then the choir joined in singing "I am determined to be invincible til He has finished His purpose in me." And it dawned on me that all of this was for me. God was speaking to me. From the moment my eyes opened til this dramatic and emotional stirring in our worship service, God was telling me that He is with me always; He has a purpose for me still and He wants me to be unshakeable in following His will.
Wow! I could barely sing the song. The words were on my lips, but no voice was coming out. The song ended with a huge climax providing just a glimpse into what I think Heaven will look like and as the Minister of Music waved His arms to end the song, the lights went out in the building.
Woh...
As if I wasn't aware that Christ was there already, it was like He put His stamp on the final note. It still gives me chills just thinking about it.
All I could do was smile, to know that God cares so much to do all this for me. I wonder what He was doing for others this morning as well.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Love is a beautiful thing (at the right age)
So, my 5 year old daughter, Miá, came home the other night and said, "Mama, guess what?" You can guess my response, "What?"
I was standing in the kitchen making dinner. It had been a good day and I was in a very good mood. I prepared myself to hear about Miá's school day, maybe a paper she colored or an adventure on the playground.
She said John (her 6 year old boyfriend) "told me today that he loves me!"
Screech. Stop. WHAT? - That's what happened on my insides. - On the outside with a cool and calm demeanor I asked her, "and what did you say?" (while trying to keep from coming unglued)
She said, "I told him I loved him too."
Ugh... You have got to be kidding me!
Have you ever felt your stomach literally drop? Your head starts to spin and you feel like you will faint?
I had to sit down.
I mean, 5 years old is way too soon to start developing feelings of this magnitude. Love is something for her parents or her sister or other relatives. Love can maybe even be for her favorite friends in CJ's office that she gives hugs to every morning on her way in to school. But definitely not for a BOY!
My mind was flashing with so many things that I wanted to say. I kept thinking that I should yank her out of preschool and send her to a nunnery. (Ok, not really.) But I did think of some extreme things that I could say or do to put a stop to this boyfriend situation immediately.
See up til now, I knew when she said that John was her boyfriend that it meant a friend who happened to be a boy. But saying I love you put the relationship into a whole different perspective.
The only words that I could utter out of my mouth was, "aaannnnddddd.... then what happened?"
She said, "then we all said I love you to each other! It was fun!"
"Huh?" (my bewildered response.)
She said, "Yeah, then I told Presley that I loved her, I told Maia that I loved her, I told Hays that I loved him..." and she kept on going.
And then she said the best part, "and they all said they love me too! I guess I just can't help being so lovable!"
As she skipped away down the hall, I could hear her singing "I love everybody and everybody loves me..."
Whew. What a relief! Crisis averted. For now.
I was standing in the kitchen making dinner. It had been a good day and I was in a very good mood. I prepared myself to hear about Miá's school day, maybe a paper she colored or an adventure on the playground.
She said John (her 6 year old boyfriend) "told me today that he loves me!"
Screech. Stop. WHAT? - That's what happened on my insides. - On the outside with a cool and calm demeanor I asked her, "and what did you say?" (while trying to keep from coming unglued)
She said, "I told him I loved him too."
Ugh... You have got to be kidding me!
Have you ever felt your stomach literally drop? Your head starts to spin and you feel like you will faint?
I had to sit down.
I mean, 5 years old is way too soon to start developing feelings of this magnitude. Love is something for her parents or her sister or other relatives. Love can maybe even be for her favorite friends in CJ's office that she gives hugs to every morning on her way in to school. But definitely not for a BOY!
My mind was flashing with so many things that I wanted to say. I kept thinking that I should yank her out of preschool and send her to a nunnery. (Ok, not really.) But I did think of some extreme things that I could say or do to put a stop to this boyfriend situation immediately.
See up til now, I knew when she said that John was her boyfriend that it meant a friend who happened to be a boy. But saying I love you put the relationship into a whole different perspective.
The only words that I could utter out of my mouth was, "aaannnnddddd.... then what happened?"
She said, "then we all said I love you to each other! It was fun!"
"Huh?" (my bewildered response.)
She said, "Yeah, then I told Presley that I loved her, I told Maia that I loved her, I told Hays that I loved him..." and she kept on going.
And then she said the best part, "and they all said they love me too! I guess I just can't help being so lovable!"
As she skipped away down the hall, I could hear her singing "I love everybody and everybody loves me..."
Whew. What a relief! Crisis averted. For now.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
What have you done for me lately?
Most days, I travel along the road of life feeling pretty good. Day in, day out, doing what I've got to do and usually when I put my head on the pillow at night, I feel like I've accomplished something. Then there are those moments when you hit a wall and the wind is knocked out of your sails.
I had one of those moments yesterday.
I think as Christians, we live our lives aware of how unworthy we are of God's love, grace and His ultimate sacrifice. It's easy to rest on the verse of scripture found in Ephesians 2:8-9 which says it is by grace we are saved through faith. It also says that we are not saved by our good works so that man may not boast. How easy it is to use that passage as an excuse to just get by.
We know we are saved regardless of how few good works we actually do and are continually unworthy of His salvation which he freely gives, so there's no real pressure to step outside of our comfort zone.
But verse 10 of that chapter says that we are created to do good works in Him and for Him.
It was in reading that verse yesterday that I felt challenged. What good works have I really done lately? Have I really gotten so busy and caught up doing my regular job that I've forgotten to do my REAL life's purpose job? Has it really been a couple days or weeks or maybe even months since I witnessed to someone about my faith, shared the gospel or led someone to Christ?
When I read that passage yesterday, I felt ashamed. I felt my unworthiness in a soul-saddening sort of way. I wonder how many times I've disappointed my Father by wasting the precious time He's given me each day by merely living life.
I believe that God wants us to live with passion and purpose. He wants us not to just live life, but to live it to the fullest for Him each and every day.
My mama always says that Lord has a way of keeping us humble. And I guess everynow and then we need those reminders that just kick us back into gear.
I had one of those moments yesterday.
I think as Christians, we live our lives aware of how unworthy we are of God's love, grace and His ultimate sacrifice. It's easy to rest on the verse of scripture found in Ephesians 2:8-9 which says it is by grace we are saved through faith. It also says that we are not saved by our good works so that man may not boast. How easy it is to use that passage as an excuse to just get by.
We know we are saved regardless of how few good works we actually do and are continually unworthy of His salvation which he freely gives, so there's no real pressure to step outside of our comfort zone.
But verse 10 of that chapter says that we are created to do good works in Him and for Him.
It was in reading that verse yesterday that I felt challenged. What good works have I really done lately? Have I really gotten so busy and caught up doing my regular job that I've forgotten to do my REAL life's purpose job? Has it really been a couple days or weeks or maybe even months since I witnessed to someone about my faith, shared the gospel or led someone to Christ?
When I read that passage yesterday, I felt ashamed. I felt my unworthiness in a soul-saddening sort of way. I wonder how many times I've disappointed my Father by wasting the precious time He's given me each day by merely living life.
I believe that God wants us to live with passion and purpose. He wants us not to just live life, but to live it to the fullest for Him each and every day.
My mama always says that Lord has a way of keeping us humble. And I guess everynow and then we need those reminders that just kick us back into gear.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Beginnings and endings
My best friend Erin just brought the most beautiful baby boy into the world. His name is Brennan Joshua and he is absolutely perfect! Of course I've only seen pictures, but I have spent so much time in prayer over this little angel that I feel attached to him already.
Seeing the pictures of Erin and her new baby instantly took me back to the day when each of my little girls were born. Both births were so completely different, just like the different children they've turned out to be.
When you have a baby, everything is about beginnings. The first bath, the first bottle, the first poo.... I guess even as the babies grow into toddlers and children, we still have those beginnings - the first day of school, their first lost tooth, and so forth and so on. You don't really expect to have endings when your kids are young, so when they do, it's a bittersweet moment for the parents.
My girls had an ending this weekend. It was the end of competitive all-star cheerleading. And even though it was expensive and time-consuming, it was a little sad to know it's all over. Zoë and Miá loved being on their squads and all the things involved with being a part of their team. I had the opportunity to see both of my girls shine on a big stage. I got to see them overcome fears and anxiety. They worked hard (very hard) and exhibited self-discipline and poise under pressure. There's something special about seeing your kids strive towards a goal, work towards that goal and then excel, that's extremely gratifying for parents.
So why are they giving it up?
Because it's expensive and time-consuming! Well, not just that, but also because they've outgrown it - already! There are new expensive and time-consuming activities on the horizon and so a choice had to be made. In the end, Zoë made the choice to go to the next level. She will take the lessons and behaviors she's learned and apply it to a new school cheerleading squad. She'll also be able to play basketball (which she loves) and maybe even piano lessons - if I can find a place for her to practice.
As for Miá, well, the second child always loses out. Since big sister's not doing it anymore, neither will she... but I'm sure we'll find something for her to do. She is only 5 after all!
Oh and they're still going to do gymnastics. So it's not a complete drop.
One funny moment occurred this weekend. They had their last competition in Panama City at the UCA national competition. After competing, the participants each received a goodie bag from the UCA sponsors.
Zoë opened up her goodie bag to find tampons and a razor and shaving cream. Yeah, those are a couple of beginnings that I'm just not prepared for yet!
Seeing the pictures of Erin and her new baby instantly took me back to the day when each of my little girls were born. Both births were so completely different, just like the different children they've turned out to be.
When you have a baby, everything is about beginnings. The first bath, the first bottle, the first poo.... I guess even as the babies grow into toddlers and children, we still have those beginnings - the first day of school, their first lost tooth, and so forth and so on. You don't really expect to have endings when your kids are young, so when they do, it's a bittersweet moment for the parents.
My girls had an ending this weekend. It was the end of competitive all-star cheerleading. And even though it was expensive and time-consuming, it was a little sad to know it's all over. Zoë and Miá loved being on their squads and all the things involved with being a part of their team. I had the opportunity to see both of my girls shine on a big stage. I got to see them overcome fears and anxiety. They worked hard (very hard) and exhibited self-discipline and poise under pressure. There's something special about seeing your kids strive towards a goal, work towards that goal and then excel, that's extremely gratifying for parents.
So why are they giving it up?
Because it's expensive and time-consuming! Well, not just that, but also because they've outgrown it - already! There are new expensive and time-consuming activities on the horizon and so a choice had to be made. In the end, Zoë made the choice to go to the next level. She will take the lessons and behaviors she's learned and apply it to a new school cheerleading squad. She'll also be able to play basketball (which she loves) and maybe even piano lessons - if I can find a place for her to practice.
As for Miá, well, the second child always loses out. Since big sister's not doing it anymore, neither will she... but I'm sure we'll find something for her to do. She is only 5 after all!
Oh and they're still going to do gymnastics. So it's not a complete drop.
One funny moment occurred this weekend. They had their last competition in Panama City at the UCA national competition. After competing, the participants each received a goodie bag from the UCA sponsors.
Zoë opened up her goodie bag to find tampons and a razor and shaving cream. Yeah, those are a couple of beginnings that I'm just not prepared for yet!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Chaos put to bed
Sitting listening to the sound of my computer humming and I've begun to wonder, is there ever any real silence? Have you ever tried to sit real still and be perfectly quiet? There's always still something...
Life is so much like this. Always something running...
I began to sit down and write a complete list of my multiple complaints that have built up over the day, but as I read back over those complaints, it was the bigger picture that struck me.
I guess there will always be complaints. There will always be problems. There will always be people who let you down. And I guess it's not so much those individual situations, as my response to those situations that count. Well, I think that I didn't do a great job at responding to all those situations today. I vented on a friend, and I fussed at a complete stranger. I guess I let the chaos get the best of me today.
So I'll go to bed tonight, praying for forgiveness for that and start all over again tomorrow with a better attitude and better intentions.
Life is so much like this. Always something running...
I began to sit down and write a complete list of my multiple complaints that have built up over the day, but as I read back over those complaints, it was the bigger picture that struck me.
I guess there will always be complaints. There will always be problems. There will always be people who let you down. And I guess it's not so much those individual situations, as my response to those situations that count. Well, I think that I didn't do a great job at responding to all those situations today. I vented on a friend, and I fussed at a complete stranger. I guess I let the chaos get the best of me today.
So I'll go to bed tonight, praying for forgiveness for that and start all over again tomorrow with a better attitude and better intentions.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Why they call it Good Friday...
In the Easter story, Good Friday is the day when Jesus was crucified and died.
The Thursday night prior is when Jesus shared the passover meal with his disciples in the upper room. It's also when he went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray with Peter, James and John. Of course, those three guys fell asleep on the job while they're boss was sweating bullets over his approaching deadline. Then to top it all off, Peter, one of the people Jesus trusted the most, denyed any affiliation with the Holy Work.
Jesus went on to have a midnight trial in secret. He was questioned, accused and mocked. In the end, it was the people he came to save who sent him to his death. But before he could even get to the dying part, he was brutally beaten and scourged. I've heard it said that the instruments used to tear apart his body cut so deep you could practically see the bone. There was nothing but blood, and when that blood begin to harden on his body, it too was stripped by the tools of death used by the Romans.
Finally, Jesus was given his cross to carry to Golgotha where he would be nailed to it and set upright, left to hang there until he finally dismissed his spirit.
Now what about any of this is good? Why do they call it Good Friday?
It's because of what happened on Sunday that makes Friday good.
Sunday is when all wounds were healed. Sunday is when purpose for living was restored and when hope for an eternity was revived. Sunday is when every sin, every wicked thought or intention, every shackle of solitude and depravity was broken and set free. Sunday is when the stone was rolled away and Jesus came walking out of that tomb ALIVE! And Sunday is when I AM became victorious and all living things truly began to live!
It's Sunday that makes Friday good.
The Thursday night prior is when Jesus shared the passover meal with his disciples in the upper room. It's also when he went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray with Peter, James and John. Of course, those three guys fell asleep on the job while they're boss was sweating bullets over his approaching deadline. Then to top it all off, Peter, one of the people Jesus trusted the most, denyed any affiliation with the Holy Work.
Jesus went on to have a midnight trial in secret. He was questioned, accused and mocked. In the end, it was the people he came to save who sent him to his death. But before he could even get to the dying part, he was brutally beaten and scourged. I've heard it said that the instruments used to tear apart his body cut so deep you could practically see the bone. There was nothing but blood, and when that blood begin to harden on his body, it too was stripped by the tools of death used by the Romans.
Finally, Jesus was given his cross to carry to Golgotha where he would be nailed to it and set upright, left to hang there until he finally dismissed his spirit.
Now what about any of this is good? Why do they call it Good Friday?
It's because of what happened on Sunday that makes Friday good.
Sunday is when all wounds were healed. Sunday is when purpose for living was restored and when hope for an eternity was revived. Sunday is when every sin, every wicked thought or intention, every shackle of solitude and depravity was broken and set free. Sunday is when the stone was rolled away and Jesus came walking out of that tomb ALIVE! And Sunday is when I AM became victorious and all living things truly began to live!
It's Sunday that makes Friday good.
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