A little rant and a little rave.

It's been one of those weeks....

Electricity has been bad - it's not always just off or on, sometimes (lots of times actually) we have low electricity. That means it doesn't come in at full strength. This week for some reason, we had high electricity and as a result our dryer exploded.
Of course it happens on a day when we have 30 people coming to the house and it's impossible to get rid of the burning wires/smoke smell.
We're already down to our last few sets of clothes and the ones that happened to be in the dryer when it exploded were also rendered unwearable.
This was all compounded by a couple days of no water. I couldn't dry clothes anyway, so not being able to wash them was not a big deal. We've learned to adjust to this problem which occurs frequently. We do stock up on drinking water, but no water for washing dishes or flushing the toilet is still a frustration.
The electricity in Zoe's room has been bad for several months - she's not able to do anything in her room like even run a fan - so she's been sleeping in Mia's room ever since. It's just too hot in her room without some form of air circulation. Mia's room was also filled with smoke from the dryer situation, so she and Zoe had to sleep the night in our bedroom on the floor. We've all had colds and coughs, probably from all the mold that's growing in our apartment. (Water pipes behind the walls are leaking, so nothing can be done to stop the amount of water damage and increasing fungus.) So someone was always coughing through the night and none of us could get any sleep.
I went to the grocery store to buy some needed items that I would use to make meals for the week, but at the grocery store there was no skim milk, no beans, no cheese and no peanut butter. At the bakery, there was no bread. (It's really not unusual as it sounds. They don't eat bread here so the bakery is mostly cakes and cookies. Sometimes though they have bread. This particular day, of course, they did not.)
Homeschooling was particularly brutal this week - partly because of the girls having too much "together time" these days, and they seem to continuously irritate each other.
Of course, CJ is busier than ever (which is a good thing) but it means that I end up having to deal with a lot of this at home on my own.
Then the worst thing happened. The outlet where I plug in my coffee pot burned out and I had no other place to plug it in. We don't have outlets throughout our apartment like in America, mostly because we just don't have enough electricity to run a bunch of electric appliances. We do have one random outlet by our front door which is rarely used but it was too high up on the wall to plug in my coffee maker. I had to rig up a system to be able to use it for a couple days until I could get the lone outlet in the kitchen replaced.
On top of all that, everyday when I sat down to do my quiet time, inevitably some sort of hindrance or distraction interrupted me.
It just felt like I couldn't win.

Trying to come up with ways to feed my family without having basic staples (or quick restaurants to run to)....
Trying to make sure my girls are healthy and happy and receiving a good education...
Trying to keep our home clean and comfortable...
Trying to communicate with family and friends in America...
Trying to do the "work" we're called here to do (our real purpose for being here in the first place)
Trying to keep myself sane while doing all these things without coffee!

This is my job and frankly this week I just didn't feel like I was doing anything very well. I was aggravated and frustrated and, well, sorta losing it.

Part of the problem is that, no matter how much we try to focus on where we are and what we're doing, in the back of our minds is the thought that we're going to America in three months. That also means that we'll be packing up and moving out of our apartment in two and a half months, so it just doesn't make sense to put a lot of money into fixing some of the household problems we're having or even buying a new dryer because we won't have a lot of room for storage during our time Stateside. So we basically just have to endure the challenges for a few months.
Easier said than done.

However, in the midst of it all, I've felt Father speaking to me.
Music lately has been my place of refuge. When I exercise or those few minutes right before crashing into bed at night, I find encouragement and inspiration to keep on going by listening to some of my favorite songs.
Broken Hallelujah by The Afters is one of those songs that I sing at the top of my lungs when I'm running. Sometimes I even find myself raising my hands up in the air and then I realize that there are a bunch of local folks around me just staring - half in fright, half in confusion. I can just hear them thinking, "Crazy foreigner..."
Desert Song by Hillsong United was one that I first heard at our summer convention this past July and it seems to be the theme song of my life these days. The words are so true and I find it so meaningful.
Finally, I always like to finish up by listening to Fix My Eyes by for God and Country. It always always always brings a smile to my face and gives me fortitude.

The message that all these songs have in common is that no matter what happens, no matter what hardships come our way, no matter how many times I struggle or fight or fall, I know that He is with me.
That's HUGE! The creator of the whole world, the one who knows all and sees all and is all-powerful is with little-ole me. How could I ever be discouraged when that is my truth?
Well, I do still get discouraged, but not for long.

Yesterday I was out running and I happened upon a group of young monks, all likely aged 8-15, walking through a neighborhood seeking rice and other food from the people in that area.

Can you imagine having to go house to house everyday asking for food and living completely dependent on the perceived karma of the people living there?
Everyday I see children without shoes.
I see families hungry.
I see desperation and hopelessness, and I know I have nothing to complain about.
Even writing this blog, I already feel guilty.
We have so much and so much to be thankful for.

Ok, so I'm feeling better now.
What about you?



Broken Hallelujah by The Afters:

I can barely stand right now
Everything is crashing down
And I wonder where You are


You know the things that have brought me here
You know the story of every tear
'Cause You've been here from the very start


[Chorus:]
I've seen joy and I've seen pain
And on my knees I call Your name
Here's my broken Hallelujah
With nothing left to hold onto
I raise these empty hands to You
Here's my broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah



Desert Song by Hillsong United:

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand


[Chorus:]
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here